Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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