Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You were trust falling into bushes
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
