Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
