Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
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She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
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I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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