I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize