I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
