There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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