Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I see more hoeing in ur future
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
