dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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