We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
