I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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