Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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