his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
