By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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