yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
