nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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