I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He better not be in your backpack
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
