im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
