My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
