Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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