tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
