Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
