My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
