Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
