You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
