the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
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the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
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You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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