would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
