..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
