I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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