i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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