Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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