alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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