Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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