Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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