i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
