Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
