dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
