Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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