Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize