we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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