Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Even my vagina gasped.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
