Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
