shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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