Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
