Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
