NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
