Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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