You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
