let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
