Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
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