I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
