Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
