Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Someone signed my nipple.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
