yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
