Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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