i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
