you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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