I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just found puke in my bra..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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