why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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